What would you remember...

...if reading the Bible were a crime?

seriously -- here I am, sitting in my downstairs basement area, and without moving, I can count 7 Bibles. SEVEN. That's not even counting the ones that are upstairs that we actually use on a frequent basis. And what do I have to show for it? How much of God's Word can I actually recite?

If someone charged into my house today with a court order to seize and dispose of all of my Bibles, what would I remember? Is his Word actually hidden in my heart or do I leave it on the page?

Thinking about this tonight reminded me of a story I read about a teenager who was executed for reading the Bible, just one of many such atrocities:

Girl
16 or 17 years old
Asia
1970s

The Communist soldiers had discovered their illegal Bible study.

As the pastor was reading from the Bible, men with guns suddenly broke into the home, terrorizing the believers who had gathered there to worship. The Communists shouted insults and threatened to kill the Christians. The leading officer pointed his gun at the pastor's head. "Hand me your Bible," he demanded.

Reluctantly, the pastor handed over his Bible, his prized possession. With a sneer on his face, the guard threw the Word of God on the floor at his feet.

He glared at the small congregation. "We will let you go," he growled, "but first, you must spit on this book of lies. Anyone who refuses will be shot." The believers had no choice but to obey the officer's order.

A soldier pointed his gun at one of the men. "You first."

The man slowly got up and knelt down by the Bible. Reluctantly, he spit on it, praying, "Father, please forgive me." He stood up and walked to the door. The soldiers stood back and allowed him to leave.

"Okay, you!" the soldier said, nudging a woman forward. In tears, she could barely do what the soldier demanded. She spat only a little, but it was enough. She too was allowed to leave.

Quietly, a young girl came forward. Overcome with love for her Lord, she knelt down and picked up the Bible. She wiped off the spit with her dress. "What have they done to Your Word? Please forgive them," she prayed.

The Communist soldier put his pistol to her head. Then he pulled the trigger.

We do NOT face this sort of persecution on a daily basis. And I know that this is something that we've all heard before, but think about it -- if someone confiscated your Bible, made you spit on it upon the threat of death, what would you remember?

Would you remember John 3.16? Maybe Gen. 1.1? Just vague paraphrases of the Christmas story? Scattered themes of sermons and homilies from our pastors and priests?

This has really convicted me and made me feel irresponsible for owning so many Bibles and not reading them and committing them to memory, hiding God's Word in my heart. I feel like a spoiled brat. Maybe I am.

Dear Lexapro,

i miss you. my children miss you. my husband DEFINITELY misses you. please come back.

love, shaina


*sigh* my lexapro prescription ran out over the weekend. the pharmacy called my doctor to renew the prescription and he never called them back. by the time i get it filled, i will have been without it for three days. i'm usually a nervous wreck if i take it in the afternoon instead of first thing in the morning, so this sabbatical has not been fun.

for example, i watched a movie tonight. and actually teared up. and got all emotional and dramatic over it and was despondent, etc etc. i also can't seem to do daily things well. as in, i can't seem to make myself want to do really anything, like.... moving. and i'm SUPER jumpy. noise sensitivity is a huge thing for me, and anyone who has ever visited my home knows that it's not a particularly tranquil place to be, what with kids and dogs and mamaws and a stray cat that wants to live in the only house in the street (ours) that absolutely cannot have it (rick's allergic). now, seriously -- wasn't that random? it didn't have anything to do with anything and yet i ranted about it anyway.

this is dumb. i miss lexapro.