What would you remember...

...if reading the Bible were a crime?

seriously -- here I am, sitting in my downstairs basement area, and without moving, I can count 7 Bibles. SEVEN. That's not even counting the ones that are upstairs that we actually use on a frequent basis. And what do I have to show for it? How much of God's Word can I actually recite?

If someone charged into my house today with a court order to seize and dispose of all of my Bibles, what would I remember? Is his Word actually hidden in my heart or do I leave it on the page?

Thinking about this tonight reminded me of a story I read about a teenager who was executed for reading the Bible, just one of many such atrocities:

Girl
16 or 17 years old
Asia
1970s

The Communist soldiers had discovered their illegal Bible study.

As the pastor was reading from the Bible, men with guns suddenly broke into the home, terrorizing the believers who had gathered there to worship. The Communists shouted insults and threatened to kill the Christians. The leading officer pointed his gun at the pastor's head. "Hand me your Bible," he demanded.

Reluctantly, the pastor handed over his Bible, his prized possession. With a sneer on his face, the guard threw the Word of God on the floor at his feet.

He glared at the small congregation. "We will let you go," he growled, "but first, you must spit on this book of lies. Anyone who refuses will be shot." The believers had no choice but to obey the officer's order.

A soldier pointed his gun at one of the men. "You first."

The man slowly got up and knelt down by the Bible. Reluctantly, he spit on it, praying, "Father, please forgive me." He stood up and walked to the door. The soldiers stood back and allowed him to leave.

"Okay, you!" the soldier said, nudging a woman forward. In tears, she could barely do what the soldier demanded. She spat only a little, but it was enough. She too was allowed to leave.

Quietly, a young girl came forward. Overcome with love for her Lord, she knelt down and picked up the Bible. She wiped off the spit with her dress. "What have they done to Your Word? Please forgive them," she prayed.

The Communist soldier put his pistol to her head. Then he pulled the trigger.

We do NOT face this sort of persecution on a daily basis. And I know that this is something that we've all heard before, but think about it -- if someone confiscated your Bible, made you spit on it upon the threat of death, what would you remember?

Would you remember John 3.16? Maybe Gen. 1.1? Just vague paraphrases of the Christmas story? Scattered themes of sermons and homilies from our pastors and priests?

This has really convicted me and made me feel irresponsible for owning so many Bibles and not reading them and committing them to memory, hiding God's Word in my heart. I feel like a spoiled brat. Maybe I am.

Dear Lexapro,

i miss you. my children miss you. my husband DEFINITELY misses you. please come back.

love, shaina


*sigh* my lexapro prescription ran out over the weekend. the pharmacy called my doctor to renew the prescription and he never called them back. by the time i get it filled, i will have been without it for three days. i'm usually a nervous wreck if i take it in the afternoon instead of first thing in the morning, so this sabbatical has not been fun.

for example, i watched a movie tonight. and actually teared up. and got all emotional and dramatic over it and was despondent, etc etc. i also can't seem to do daily things well. as in, i can't seem to make myself want to do really anything, like.... moving. and i'm SUPER jumpy. noise sensitivity is a huge thing for me, and anyone who has ever visited my home knows that it's not a particularly tranquil place to be, what with kids and dogs and mamaws and a stray cat that wants to live in the only house in the street (ours) that absolutely cannot have it (rick's allergic). now, seriously -- wasn't that random? it didn't have anything to do with anything and yet i ranted about it anyway.

this is dumb. i miss lexapro.

My Grievances Against Blockbuster

okay, is this necessary...?

we go to blockbuster every single saturday. saturday is our movie night where we eat pizza rolls on a blanket in the living room and we let the girls pick out a movie for them, and rick and i get one for us. the girls take turns each week, and every week when we go there with whichever one, for MONTHS now, we have to pass this hideous poster:



seriously.... right under Thumbelina and Bolt. no joke.

shiloh always gets upset when we see it and i try to avoid it as best as i can, but they LOVE going to pick out their own movies! we've resorted to most times, just going straight to their kids' movie aisle and then to the checkout and then leaving, but then they don't get to look at any of the new kids' releases.

i hate this! and then, on the way to the checkout, they get to see this:


the latest issue of MAXIM! granted, it's not on the bottom shelf, but it's right next to the friggin M&Ms!!

i get that they have a lot of teenaged boys coming in to rent video games and that they're into this sort of thing. but would they be into it if it wasn't splashed all over the place?

do my kids have to see blood and gore and be afraid every time we want to go rent a new Dora movie? come on!!

*sigh*.... anyway. i'm gearing up to the point where i might complain or shop elsewhere.

and those are my grievances against blockbuster.

I was meant to be a foster parent.

seriously. despite how stressed-out i am and all of the drama, i wouldn't be doing anything else. this time last year, i was working part-time, coordinating a church MOPS group, facilitating a women's Bible study and helping my husband lead a young marrieds sunday school class. sounds fulfilling, no? i thought it was. and shiloh was my only child. and there were no biological parents and court dates and attachment disorders and therapists and counselors and team meetings and visitation and positive redirection and hyperactivity/attention issues and mamaw mayme and alzheimer's disease.

but i can say, with absolute certainty and withOUT a doubt, that i was exponentially more stressed out then than i am now. I am so much happier now doing what I'm doing -- fostering, parenting, caring for a great-grandmother in my home, preparing to homeschool -- than I ever was playing a leadership role in church work.

Now, i don't want to imply that I think church work is unimportant -- quite the contrary, I beleive that church work and volunteerism and service is where we all need to focus a significant, if not most, of our efforts and energy. I just misunderstood my role. I know we all hear a million times that the church is "like a body, with Christ as the head, and we're all a different part of the body, and we need to plug in a do our one part really well instead of trying to do a bunch of things just so-so.." yes, i know.

but that's not how it plays out. when people get involved, they tend to want to do a little something here, a little something there, until you're the go-to person for things that need to get done. or maybe that was just my experience. ;o) and i'm not blaming anyone, either. at any time, i could have said "this is too much," "i can't handle it all, " or just simply said "no." but i kept taking things on and while i was involved in a myriad of important things, i felt like i had no purpose, like i was just trudging through until one day, it would be revealed and it would all make sense. but that day never came and i just got more and more frustrated, eventually feeling like i was killing the ministries that i led, all b/c i wasn't actively listening to God's call.

now, i know that i have a purpose. i am happiest dealing with an alzheimer's great-grandmother who usually doesn't remember my name; cleaning up puke after my poor beagle who has more health problems than any dog should have, while trying to make sure the other two dogs at least get fed and taken out twice a day (don't even ask me about the fish and the frog); assuring my foster child -- again -- that yes, i do love her, and that no, nothing else can change that, and then witnessing the attachment disorder rear its ugly head when she acts out b/c she doesn't believe me; and try to get my hyperactive spaz of a three-year old to maintain eye contact for more than two seconds whilst i explain that it's NOT okay to jump from the windowsills..... I am happier doing those things than I am doing almost anything else I can imagine.

and even in all that, i think BECAUSE of all of that, i am truly blessed. and i pray that God gives me more opportunities to parent foster children who need a safe place to land. I'm just sorry that i spent so much time trying to do it all instead of doing the one thing that i was meant to do.

nevertheless, i love my life and i love being a foster parent. i mean, really -- how much more perfectly planned-out could it have been to have an attachment disordered child who craves individual attention like no other and loves to repeat herself being paired with an alzheimer's patient who loves to have conversations but can't remember what you said two seconds ago? genius!!

How do you get hair conditioner out of the carpet...??

The girls got up before I did this morning. As usual. This time, however, I must have SERIOUSLY been out cold, b/c when I woke up and went into their bedroom, this is what I found:



They had gotten a concoction of all sorts of products, but the nearly-$20 hair conditioner is what they used almost completely up and what you see spread all over the carpet. They got out Shiloh's spray-in detangler, contact solution, hair condition, raspberry body lotion, vanilla body wash, and rick's hair gel. At least their room smelled nice.

So, I was initially, of course, very surprised that, and then I began to look closer:

That's right. They had smothered at least three of their stuffed animals in hair conditioner. It was seriously CAKED on there. I tried to clean it, but had to eventually throw it away.

They had used these little containers, apparently, to mix the different gels/lotions:


And, of course, Shiloh got it all in her hair. I found out later that she had covered her toy curling iron in the hair conditioner and then tried to curl her hair with it.

Needless to say, she got a shower this morning.

One of their horses that were also covered in goopy stuff:

And, their closet. All over the carpet in there, too.
This was seriously the biggest mess they've made in a looong time. I was so surprised I wasn't even sure what to say. I think it scared them more that i DIDN'T yell. I just sort of stood there in stunned silence for a long time, and neither one of them even spoke.

Note to self: Get up before the kids and hide all of my hair stuff. geez.

Courtrooms and Happy Families

I know, those two things don't tend to go hand-in-hand, do they?

Today was Lou's court date for a dispositional review hearing. Bio mom and bio dad were both expected to be in attendance (first time attendance for mom, second for dad). There were supposed to be positive reports all around. Rick was able to come with me this time, which was great. Since bio dad lives in Los Angeles, they wanted us to get there an hour early so we could give them an hour visit. My mom and aunt came in to watch Mamaw Mayme and Shiloh so Rick and I could go to court unencumbered, and this hour visit would give us time to go have a nice relaxing sit-down breakfast together ALONE before court. Not exactly ideal, but you take what you can get, right?

Now, if there are any foster parents out there reading this, I think you know what's coming next. That all sounded just a little bit too smooth, didn't it? Positive reports, alone time, unencumbered, a visit with bio dad whom she never sees.... riiiight. Next -- what ACTUALLY happened.

We left the house just a couple of minutes late, no big deal. However, about five minutes down the road we realized that we forgot to grab a Father's Day picture frame that Lou had made for her dad along with some pictures for him that we had printed out. We couldn't just not bring them -- I mean, the man lives across the country, and we all know that I'm not going to remember to mail them. So, back to the house we went. I think I did pretty well, considering that oftentimes, being late and rushing to get somewhere important is enough to send me into a panic attack. Thankfully for all involved, though, I remembered to take my good friend Lexapro and away we went, late and happy all the way to the visit.

We arrived a few minutes late, but bio dad was late as well, so I was pretty relieved. We knew that bio dad was planning on bringing his 18-month old daughter with him, as well as his mother and cousin. This is his second visit with her, as he just found out that Lou was in care in late February, and he always brings family to visit her as well. We were in the back visiting room of the office (which is a damp, gray, run-down building in the judicial district of town), and we heard the front door open. Lou was way exicited to see bio dad, and then, hushed whispers and.... silence. I felt that sinking feeling that you get when you know something's not right, and I hated to see Lou disappointed again. Instead of seeing family, we saw the social worker come in and lean over to me. "Dad's not coming today. There was a situation. I'll explain in a few minutes." O...kay. However, it wasn't a total bust. Lou's grandmother and adult cousin still came, which I thought spoke volumes of the support system waiting for her there. The grandmother can't even speak English, only Spanish, and she was still there without her son. I was very encouraged by that.

Anyway, they came in, cried, hugged Lou, gave her presents, showed her pictures, etc. And the social worker called me into the next room to say that bio dad had been detained. Apparently, when he went to get his criminal background check, there was an unpaid parking ticket from five years ago and he couldn't pay it...? So, he had to stay. Again, though, I thought it spoke VOLUMES that the extended family came anyway, even though they knew that they would only see Lou for an hour. Bio dad was devestated that he couldn't make it and called to talk to Lou after court.

Anyway, the social worker, of course, had some paperwork she had to finish up and asked if we could supervise the visit for "just a few minutes." As you might guess, a few minutes turned into half an hour and we still hadn't breakfast. So, I finally told her that we were going to have to leave and she supervised the rest. Relaxed, alone-time ended up being drive-through McDonald's and scarfing it down outside the courthouse. Blah.

After our experiment in eating at the speed of light (and feeling ALL the more gross because of it), we found out that the judges' docket got pushed back thirty minutes. More blah. So, while one of the social workers watched Lou at the office, we invited Grandma and Cousin to have a Coke with us at the Hardee's on the corner. We wanted to give them more face time with Lou and take her with us, but more time beyond the allotted one hour was not allowed.

Let me say -- I LOVED them. Every time I meet more of bio dad's family, I'm more and more convinced that it's the right place for Lou. They were very open and frank with us, which we sooooo appreciated. Rick and I are seriously not small-talk, surface-y kind of people, and I enjoyed being able to sit down and talk with them about the actual issues they're facing. They had never been in a type of environment like this one -- courts, social workers, attorneys, etc -- and we were able to sort of help them through it, answer their questions and explain it a little better. It's got to be so hard knowing that there's a member of your family out there, across the country in foster care, going through the courts, and you just have to wait it out and do what everyone tells you. I can't imagine. Well, actually, now, I kind of can.

So, we went to court together, and of course, by the time we got there, the docket had been pushed back another thirty minutes and it was nearly an hour past the original time by the time we actually got in there. Bio mom was present and very nervous. She didn't say much and they didn't say anything to her. They weren't rude or vindictive or vengeful, they just politely ignored each other.

After all that waiting, court was short, as expected. We had already agreed on everything at the Support Team meeting a couple of weeks ago, so it was just various members of the team giving their recommendations, and the judge hearing them. The attorney for the state was pretty aggressive against mom, and it was clear that she was not in favor of Lou being reunited with her. The social worker was ambivalent, and everyone else was agreeable. The judge actually called on us to speak in court, which I wasn't expecting. They've all just kind of ignored us before, giving us a sort of honorable mention and that's it. This time, however, the judge seemed to really care what we thought and asked how Lou was doing. I was careful to express that she is having some issues with the increased visitation, but that she loves seeing her mom and is otherwise thriving. She thanked us for being there, and I could tell she actually meant it. In a place where everyone is moving super fast-paced and knows where they're going and wants to get there as fast as possible (and is usually is a bad mood at that), it was nice to see her acknowledge our involvement in Lou's outcome. There are so many times when I feel like the social workers/attorneys/counselors/(insert random person assigned to Lou's case) aren't listening to us, and it was nice to have someone ask our opinion.

The official ruling -- bio dad gets unlimited, unsupervised visits whenever he's in town, mom gets two hours supervised by a designee weekly. The ICPC (Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children -- basically, checking out bio dad to make sure that he's a suitable placement for Lou) has been submitted to the state of California, and the judge set a Permanency Hearing for September.

YIKES! Has she really been with us that long that it's time for a Permanency Hearing?? At that hearing, if the ICPC is completed by that time, we're all assuming that the judge with likely rule in favor of bio dad, granting him full physical custody with bio mom having visitation as ordered. And that's in September. Jeepers. You guys know me, okay... And those that do know that I don't cry, although not for lack of trying sometimes. I will say, though, that the prospect of Lou leaving our home is incredibly sad. I want to cry because I know how right this is. I know that she belongs with her family. Rick and I are in full agreement and support of Lou going to bio dad, and are advocating for her towards that end. But not having anyone say "hey, THAT'S pretty neat!!", "shark" instead of "sharp," "slicking" instead of "slipping," those times when she slips up and calls me "Mom" instead of by my name? That's going to be hard. Shiloh will be crushed. Rick and I will be crushed. And our house will be much, much quieter.

I can't quite explain it, though; at the same time, I feel so good about this. If this actually works out, it will make me feel so great about being a foster parent. I truly do love her. We've learned so much about ourselves as parents from her and she's really a great kid. She's just not ours. And that's okay.

Bio mom was an emotional mess, as anyone would be. It's one thing to hear the allegations second-hand and be outraged, but it's another seeing that same woman face-to-face and how broken-hearted she is at the prospect of being forever separated from her only child. I hate what she allowed to happen to Lou. And I hate that she realized her mistake too late. However, God is looking at her with compassion right now, and His heart is hurting that this woman is in pain. If God, Who is perfect, can look past her mistakes and love her where she is, then I, being a fallible mess, can put away my disdain for a day and show her some kindness. I asked her how she was doing, and she broke down. I hated to see her like that and I hugged her. I could tell that she really needed it. No matter who you are or what you've done, no one wants to be in a stressful situation feeling like everyone in the room with you is against you. She held on to me for longer than I expected, and I let her. I didn't tell her that everything was going to be okay, and I didn't tell her that it was all going to work out the way she wanted and that Lou was coming home to her. What I did say, though, was the Lou loves her. I told her that no matter what happens, that she will always be Lou's mother, and that Lou will always love her. I think she was slightly embarrassed at the display of emotion on her part, but she seemed grateful that she wasn't being completely ignored and looked down upon.

I hope it's not prideful to say that I felt really good about that. Rick and I prayed outside the courtroom before we entered for all of the people involved, and I really feel like Christ was loving her through me. Sadly, He gives me those opportunities all the time, and I very rarely take them. Maybe I'll try to not to pass them up so much from now on.

The DJO (Deputy Juvenile Officer) on Lou's case extended the unlimited, unsupervised visits to Lou's family anytime they were in town, and though we offered to let them take Lou out to lunch without us, they asked us to come along. They had a lot of questions about the ruling and we explained some more. We found out that their hotel was in South County, farther from the courthouse than where even we lived, which is already almost 40 minutes away. We drove them to lunch and then to their hotel (they had gotten to court by taxi), and were able to talk a good bit on the way. It was very easygoing and there wasn't a lag in conversation at all -- nothing was forced, and I like that. I hope that they'll be agreeable to continued contact and updates with Lou, were she to be reunited with them.

We told them that anytime bio dad wanted to fly in and see her, that he was more than welcome, just to let us know in advance. We exchanged contact info and that was that.

So -- courtrooms and happy families. Awesome. :o)

New Hair! (And New Pictures)

so, i took a shower the other day and noticed that my hair was coming out. a lot. it's a hormonal thing with me that happens in cycles, but keeping my hair short usually keeps it under control. it's been a loooong while since i've had a haircut, though, and i was shedding majorly again. so, i decided to get it cut.

ta-da!!

it's quite a bit shorter than i expected and definitely the shortest my hair has ever been, but i think i really like it!

it looks like i'm dancing a jig in this next one. but i'm not. i know i generally dance random jigs, but that's not the case here.


apparently, i was trying to bite somebody and rick was surprised by that.

it's the too-big-for-your-face black glasses club. we're in it.

this is shiloh modeling a dress i made for her last week. i used this same material to make a shirt for her two years ago, and i LOVED it. when i was going through some of my fabric, i found just enough to make this dress, and it may be my favorite one so far. :o)

she's such a princess. i love her.

in this next one, she's playing the "sleep" game. i wish she played this for real more often. in this game, they lay blankets out everywhere like they're making a bed and lay their animals or babies down next to them or sometimes in the next room. then, they pretend that the animal or baby is crying in the night and they have to get up and take care of it. it's pretty cute.


i caught her reading a book in front of the back door. she really likes to read. even though she doesn't know how. ;o)

signing "i love you." aww...


she's been doing this lately, and it's been driving me crazy! she keeps sticking just one finger on the roof of her mouth, and i can't get her to stop. i think i'm going to put vinegar or something on her fingers and see if that helps. it's just so gross! it was cute, though, how she had her legs crossed in this picture. :o)

another "caught you" picture, reading to her baby. she dressed her baby up in pajamas and everything after her bathtime one night.


mamaw mayme got her hair done, too. :o)


more sewing projects -- i made the girls matching nightgowns. they loooove wearing nightgowns! and i was really surprised by how well these fit...

they got carried away, as usual...


i was just meaning to take a picture of the back of the nightgowns, but this is actually a pretty cute picture of them holding hands. :o)

and that's it for now. there are more pictures of lara attached to the email that i send out when i make a post. if you want to be added to that email list, just let me know. :o)

I'm Sick Of Pee

it's everywhere. everywhere i turn, there's a bodily function in progress.

penny lane has hurt her back leg somehow and refused to even TRY to move. we're taking her to the vet on friday, but until then, it's difficult. this morning, she got tired of trudging down the hallway to go outside, so she just squatted and peed in the floor.

shiloh has regressed SERIOUSLY with the potty training and pees in the house ALL the time!! i've ignored it, i've yelled, i've set timers, i've taken things away, i've given candy, other incentives.... ARG!!! this potty training thing was near done about a week ago, but all of a sudden, she just doesn't care if she pees or poops in her panties. blah. i know we'll just have to ride it out, but this is so aggravating!

and then, mamaw mayme feels the need to tell us everytime she goes to the bathroom, what she has to do in there and whether or not it was a difficult experience. and it never fails -- she's ALWAYS constipated when we're in public. and she lets you know. loudly. loudly and continually until the issue is resolved.

seriously. i am so tired of dealing with pee. i haven't heard from shiloh in a few minutes. she's probably up there right now peeing.

what's that verse? "this too shall pass"...? *sigh*.....

Beating My Head Against A Wall

well, that's what it usually feels like, anyway. today was better, but we've been having some issues with Lou. Lou (what i've been advised i should refer to Lara from now on online) is just experiencing what every foster child experiences.

trauma. every day. no matter how safe you make her, she still is traumatized. and i hate it. there's nothing i can do about what she's already experienced, i just have to build a completely new foundation. and it's really hard. really hard.

for weeks, lou has been been saying that she's going home soon, that "mom told me that she just has two classes to finish and that i'll be going home in twenty mornings." why on EARTH do the bios do this to their children?! there's no possible way that bio mom could know right now when (or even IF) lou will be coming home. and they've just switched her to to (basically) unsupervised visits, and added an hour, so we're dealing with all sorts of fun behaviors.

i know that any other foster parents out there right now reading this knows exactly what i mean, b/c it seems like almost all of the bios do this. are they hoping that if they say it enough, that it will happen? are they trying to make their child happy? are they trying to get back at the foster parents? are they just friggin delusional??

and the thing is that i'm dealing with the whole rollercoaster of it all. things seem to be going well for awhile and i'll start to get incredibly emotional attached, and then she starts acting out like this and i want her to just go to her room and stay there. all day. i don't actually do this, but it's what i want sometimes. i hate it when i can see myself making a difference b/t shiloh and lou. sometimes, though, i can't help it. sometimes, shiloh is just easier to love. isn't that awful...? just b/c a child is difficult to love doesn't mean that they don't deserve that love. i know this. but it doesn't make it any easier.

it seems like everything we do with her is two steps forward, ten steps back. we can DEFINITELY look back at the seven months that she's been with us and see a HUGE change in her behaviors, so i know that we're getting somewhere. it's just in the day-to-day that i can't see that we're making any progress at all. especially when she says things like "my mom says..." and "when i go stay with my mom..." ARG!!! i know -- i KNOW -- that we're making a difference, but it's in those moments that i need God's grace to keep me even. sometimes, i just want to scream at her that she doesn't realize how good she has it here. .... *sigh*... any other foster/adoptive parents deal with that...?

i know i'm not alone, but sometimes it feels that way. being a foster parent is such a unique experience. there's nothing else quite like it. you can try to share your struggles with your best friend of forever, but if they're not a foster parent, they just don't "get" it. we've found that unless someone asks us questions about it, we usually don't share unless we're around other people who are or who have fostered, b/c it's just too draining to explain it all. don't get me wrong -- i'm ALL about telling people about the HUUUUGE need for foster parents and giving them all of the information they need to get started. but, i guess i don't want to deal with people's shock sometimes. i don't know... maybe i'm beyond shock...? blah.

okay, end rant. this is the first of many foster care posts, though, i think. i find it very therapeutic. :o)

Pictures!

We've had a lot going on the past few weeks. Rick's grandmother died and so we traveled to Michigan, MY great-grandmother moved in with us for at least six months (possibly more, depending), we did our very first homeschooling lesson and corresponding field trip with other homeschooling families, and today we went to the zoo. That last one wasn't a huge deal, it was just fun. :)

I should also mention something else now, for those new to our family blog. Rick and I are foster parents, and since the children that come into our home are technically in state custody, we aren't allowed to post pictures of them on the internet. So, we have to blur out their faces. Totally understandable, but a pain nonetheless. We have a 5-year old girl with us right now, Lara, who's been with us for 7 months. She's in a ton of these pictures, but I've had to blur out her sweet face, and I hate that you guys can't see how cute she is!! But, anyhoo, I just thought that needed explaining. :)

So now, on to the pictures!


These first few are of our trip to Michigan for Grandma Meese's funeral. The girls took it pretty well, I think. It was the first time I think either one of them had really encountered death in this way, so we tried to explain it to them the best we could. We told them that God had taken Grandma's spirit to heaven because He thought that it was time for her to be with Him there, but that her body had to stay here on earth. Heavy things for young minds to grasp, but they tried. On a different note, though, we were there with the whole Petersen family for four days and didn't get any family pictures! The only ones I got were of them at the hotel. blah. But, they enjoyed the hotel, I think -- especially the pool. :)

Rick looks oddly ecstatic in this one:
And the girls on the way home... We had to leave right after the funeral, and they fell asleep almost as soon. So cute!


And, after we got home, a day or so later, I found this little gremlin in my kitchen:
That's lipstick. A lot of it. When I caught her doing it, she had her baby doll sat up in front of her and said that she was trying to be a Mommy. I couldn't bring myself to get her in trouble for it, so I just cleaned her up, let her go, and hid the lipstick... better.


My great-grandmother Mayme has come to live with us. She's here for at least six months and possibly more if it goes well. She is in an intermediate stage of Alzheimer's Disease and can't live on her own anymore. My mom and aunt are back home packing up her house and cleaning it out to sell so they can get her into a nursing home, so she's staying with us in the meantime. She really is a BLAST to be around, she is SO funny! She does the typical Alzheimer's things, but we're blessed in that she isn't the volatile lashing-out type. At least not yet. She's gone more the route of reverting into childish behaviors, which is obviously much easier for us to handle. It's been nice having her around, though. She practically raised me as a child and is probably my biggest childhood influence. I'm so glad that we can be here for her now. :)

In this next picture, we're having our Saturday movie night. Every Saturday, we let the girls take turns renting a movie and we eat pizza rolls on the floor.

Coloring with the girls. She was super intense about it. Very serious coloring.
Reading to Shiloh. I'm so glad that the girls have taken to her so well and let her do things like this. I know that she misses being able to be a "mamaw" to her grandkids.

Folding clothes. She hates just sitting around and gets incredibly fidgety, so you have to give her things to do. And there's certainly no shortage of that at my house! She likes to fold the clothes and do the dishes and clean my house. I'm fine with that! ;)

Sitting with Lara on the couch:

And more cleaning of my kitchen... ;)


Next, we did our first homeschooling lesson! It was about horses. We did a lapbook about basic horse anatomy, different types of horses, what they eat, etc. Aftewards, we met up with some other homeschooling families at a horse farm. They gave us a mini-lecture about horses and let us feed and pet them. The girls (and Mamaw Mayme!) had a great time!

Mrs. Robin giving the mini-lecture:

This was Ringo. He was really boisterous and knew that we had food to give him. He was pretty cute, though, and all the kids liked to hear him make his noises. :)

Lara getting to pet Ringo:

Shiloh had no interest in Ringo. Oddly enough, though, she saw a black and white horse out in the pasture named Clyde and wanted to "save" her petting for Clyde. He finally came in and Shiloh got to pet him. She was a little timid at first, but was fine after she finally went up there:

In fact, she liked it so much that when they brought out Di, a 24 yr-old therapeutic horse, Shiloh just stood next to her and pet her...

...and pet her....

...and pet her...

...and even after all of the other kids had gone, she was still standing there petting her. That was all she wanted to do.

Then we got to feed Lucy. Di is Lucy's mom and Lucy is only a year old, i think. She was very sweet. Shiloh absolutely did not want to feed her, but she let me. It was neat. :)

Then Shiloh was done with all of that and found a door at which to sit and look out. She put rocks in her pockets and watched the cars go by. Too funny.

They had some leftover apples from feeding the horses that they were DYING to eat when they got in the van, as you can tell. :)

A family picture before church on Sunday:

Lara had a visit with her mom at Suson Park in south county and Shiloh really wanted to stay. For obvious reasons, she couldn't, but when we went back, we got out and looked around. They had Clydesdale horses and all sorts of farm animals. It was raining, though, so she had to get her cow umbrella, which she was very proud of. She had also wanted to wear this dress, which I had just made for her that morning.

Not sure about this one. Sort of looks like she's about to chuck the umbrella at the horses...

The rest of these pictures are from today's trip to the zoo. We had been cooped up in the house WAY too long and the girls were seriously going stir-crazy. I had tried all of my usual tricks to keep them entertained, but we had to get out. So, to the zoo we went. I made Lara this blue dress this morning and of course, Shiloh wanted to wear hers again, too, so they're both wearing dresses I made. :)

Shiloh and Lara looking at the map, being very serious...

Mamaw Mayme, fussing at me for taking her picture. :)

This was too cute! A family of turtles, all lined up!

And Shiloh and Lara, watching them. They made up an entire story about how the Daddy turtle had come home from work and and the Mommy and Sweetie (their word for "Baby") turtles were going with the Daddy turtle to get some ice cream because the Sweetie turtle had been so good while he was away. hah!

I know this seems odd to post a picture of only Lara and blur her face out, but I had to tell this story. She's standing in front of the prairie dogs. She asked me what they were, and I told her they were prairie dogs. She gasped excitedly, clasped her hands together, and, with wide eyes, turned to Shiloh and said "Shiloh! Look! These are FAIRY DOGS!!!" Shiloh was also very excited, as you can imagine. One doesn't often see fairy dogs just flitting about. After a minute, though, their excitement turned to confusion and they slowly turned to me and Lara said "um, Shaina...? I don't see their wings and they actually don't look anything like a dog..." It was SO funny!! So, here's Lara standing in front of the "fairy dogs." :)

At the bird house...

Mamaw Mayme trudging up a hill. The woman is 87 years old in December, and was very adamant that she could walk just as fast and as far as we could, and she pretty much did. I only stopped twice, and we were there for almost two hours!

In front of the Herpetarium (Shiloh's choice) -- Mamaw Mayme, Shiloh and Lara:

This was pretty enthralling and kinda gross at the same time. This was a frog that had JUST had its babies. And I mean, like, just hours before. There were about twelve of these itty bitty babies in this dish, and a few of them had crawled out and were around the dish. One, though, had very obviously died and was bleeding from the head. A lot. I couldn't stop myself from taking a picture, and then I couldn't stop myself from posting it. Sorry!! I blurred out the one that was dead, though.... Blech.

Lara and Shiloh in front of the giant tortoises. These are their favorites to see and they ALWAYS want to go here. Mamaw kept saying how unbelievable it was that they even existed. hah!

Then, as we were leaving, we found this awesome tree along the pathway. First, the girls decided that they wanted to pretend that they were going to move it...

Then, they were going to hug it...

Then, Lara decided to climb it. In her new dress. That I had just made for her that morning. *sigh* ah, well. At least I'll see how good of a job I did making it!

Then Shiloh wanted to try, but was sort of afraid as long as I was holding on. When I let her go, though, she liked it. I LOVE these series of pictures. I took more of Lara, too, but didn't see a point in posting them if I was going to have to blur out the entire picture. So, these are just of Shiloh.


This is probably my new favorite picture of her. She is SO BEAUTIFUL!

For people in my family, they know that Mamaw has a thing about animals. She LOVES animals, but in recent years, obviously hasn't been able to care for any herself. So, she resorted to stuffed animals, keeping all kinds in her house. She doesn't have any here at our house, so as we were leaving the zoo, I got the girls each a small stuffed animal... including Mamaw. ;) She held it like this almost the whole way home. She is too cute!


So, that's it for pictures for now. If you'd like to see the originals of the ones that have Lara in them, let me know and I'll add you to the list. I email the originals to a list of people who'd like to see them, and I'll send them to you, too.

Otherwise, here's hoping I post more often!